Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize