so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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