I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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