he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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