I accidentally had phone sex last night
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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