Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
