i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
