So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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