Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
