well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
