It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize