i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
