I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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