just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
