girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize