i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize