So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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