Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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