Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize