After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize