Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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