I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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