So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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