Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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