Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
