After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
