so that wasnt chicken after all
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
