isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
