so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
