Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
