I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
