She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
