i just google imaged poop.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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