so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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