Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
