Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
