I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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