i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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