Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
