the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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