i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
