my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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