Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I could have mohawked her pubes.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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