My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
