Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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