Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
