Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
