I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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