Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize