I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
