Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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(509): View more from Washington

I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.

Fav 16 4915 787
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the worst part is we had a camera rolling

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Yes.

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I have to watch that.

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(585): View more from New York

with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible

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(757): View more from Virginia

just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life

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(302): View more from Delaware

I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.

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(208): View more from Idaho

We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.

Fav 2 219 128
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(703): View more from Virginia

I’m home.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I’m aware. I just dropped you off.

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