I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
