I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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