East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
