Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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