Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
