And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
